Friday, December 18, 2009

More Pumpkin Madness

This pumpkin isn't getting any younger but it's still alive and kicking!!!

Tuesday, November 17, 2009

Vintage Halloween

Gettin' into the Vintage Halloween spirit.

Monday, September 21, 2009

Vintage Meats Pharmacy Edition: One-A-Day About a Year Too Late

Out of habit (from co-authoring this blog), I glanced at the "Best By" date on the vitamins I have been taking. Dec 2008. Hopefully they haven't been making me UN-healthy.

Tuesday, September 15, 2009

Old Wine Has Friends

So, after I made miso soup from the fish stock of a few weeks ago, I realized that the nori and miso I used also fell into the vintage category. Don't ask me why the thought only occurred to me a few days afterward. Must be all the vintage food is finally affecting me.

The miso was apparently "Best By 28 Nov 2006." Whatever, it's fermented--who can tell right? Anyway, I used it all up.

The nori, well, a pretty confident guess is 4+ years (light on the "plus"). Still tasted like the ocean, although less crumbly than dried seaweed usually is. You can't really tell from the photo, but the little dessicant packet (which apparently is lime, although it also had a lot of Japanese writing, so the translation could have been bad) was so full of water that it was puffed up like a little pillow. Not a problem, however, it went right into the soup so you couldn't tell. I did have a friend almost choke to death in front of me (not a joke) on a rubbery seaweed-wrapped sushi roll once. I cut this stuff into small pieces to be on the safe side, since it was a pretty freaky experience. The rest of the package is destined for the compost; I'm not taking any chances.

Good soup, though.

Wednesday, August 26, 2009

Roly Poly Fish Heads

No, I didn't find a fish head stuck behind the freezer-burned raspberries. But, I did find some two-year-old wine in the fridge that I used (in conjunction with a very fresh fish head) to make fish stock. Mmm... miso soup.... I did take a picture of the fish head, too, but I'll spare you.

Yeah, yeah, I know that SOME wine gets better with age. But not two buck Chuck. Believe me. Especially since it's been in the fridge, opened, for a good portion of those two years. Simmer for an hour on the stove, though, with a good mirepoix and it's not so bad.

Tuesday, August 25, 2009

Lime Grenadine

This old and slightly nasty grenadine was liberated from the cabinet and the jar was washed out before I could get to it.

But I found the bottle.

Monday, August 24, 2009

Fun With Fluff

Some of you might remember this fluff.

And these chocolate chips which have made numerous appearances in addition to pairing with the fluff here, here and here.

Well, in honor of the chocolate, fluff and nutella crepes at Mr. Crepe, we elected to make vintage chocolate chip and fluff pancakes. Oh, if only I had known about the nutella.

One was sacrificed to the floor.

The rest were fantastic.

Plus the fluff and chocolate chips are now done!!! Best breakfast ever!!!

Friday, August 21, 2009

Mmmmmm Tea Again

I really can't believe I never put this picture up. Especially since it took me a month or more to get through this whole box o' tea.

Well all except the orange spice which I hid away in the tea box of doom where it shall reappear one day to terrorize unsuspecting people. Mwah-hahahaha!!!

Thursday, August 20, 2009

The Bermuda Triangle of Foods

Sometimes I unearth an old food item and it just quietly disappears. No one mentions it again.

Well, this was one of these items (bad picture I know). I wouldn't drink it since it's a dairy smoothie which I don't like. It seems like others felt the same way since now it's gone.

Wednesday, August 19, 2009

The Appropriately Named After Eights

They expired in January 2009. After eight months they were actually eaten.

I actually can't believe this is the first time I've written about these bad boys since this was the third box I unearthed. Some were older.

Tuesday, August 18, 2009

Did You Ever Wonder....

....If gum could go stale?

Well, I'm here to tell you that it does. I chewed all four pieces at once so I wouldn't have to do it again.

You're welcome.

Monday, August 17, 2009

Toxic Tobasco

You may remember the post about the ancient hot sauce. Well there are some more bottles.

They have been officially labeled toxic. Gross.

Friday, August 14, 2009

Vintage Treasure Chest - Episode One

The first episode of name that vintage food is from the depths of the treasure chest. I start with this item since it has already been disposed of. It was done behind my back, but I have photographic evidence nonetheless.

When I opened this and sniffed it, yes I know this is dangerous, I thought it was powdered instant tea mix. I looked closer though and saw it had leaves in it.

Okay, obviously not powdered tea.

Another guess was that it was taco seasoning. But that is definitely orange and this was mostly brown and had a tea smell.

No one is certain what this is still, but the best guess to date is lemon pepper. I'm not sure that guess is right, but it's about as close as we may ever get to knowing for sure.

Thursday, August 13, 2009

Chunky Milk - The Sequel

A few days ago I opened this up and used it a tiny bit since once again, there was no milk. This seems to be a recurring problem in this house. (See also: the Week of Vintage Milks beginning in June).

Well I casually mentioned later on that day that there were 2 half and half containers in the refrigerator and it was met with the comment I really didn't want to hear. Apparently, earlier that morning, someone had opened it up and poured some out and it came out chunky.


So they put it back in the fridge since the sell by date hadn't passed. Well it had. Usually milk has a sell by date but as you can see from the photo, this one has a use by date. Granted it was only a day past and usually milk is still okay for a day or sometimes a few days afterward but IF IT'S CHUNKY TOSS IT!!!!!

Good thing I didn't get sick from that. I just threw up in my mouth a little bit when I realized what had happened.

Wednesday, August 12, 2009

My Goodness, My Guiness

Quote from the victim of this bottle of Guiness. "That beer was at least a year old".

Poor fool should have chilled it longer.

Tuesday, August 11, 2009

For All You Doubters

This is the 100th post. Yup, that's right, the vintage fun here never ends.

To celebrate this momentous event I share with you this image of a veritable vintage treasure box. Stay tuned for an action packed, item-by-item mini-series event.

Monday, August 10, 2009

Liquid Smoke - Twice the Flavor, Twice the Vintage

Okay I heard there was some grumbling about the scarcity of posts lately so I'm back at it. Shortly I'll have enough posts scheduled to last quite a while, at least a month of vintage fun for your reading pleasure.

Next up: Liquid Smoke.

This liquid smoke concentrate was found - I don't know how - probably in a cupboard somewhere. It really just appeared on the counter.

As you may be able to see from the front, it's concentrated. Actually, it's "more than twice as concentrated as the other leading brands". This means it will last twice as long and be twice as vintage by the time someone decides they need some liquid smoke flavoring.

As you may also be able to see from the back, it's alleged expiration date is, or should I say was, 01/07/1999.

What you probably can't see are the little floaty bits stuck inside on the glass.

Friday, August 7, 2009

Is "Sans Sucre" French For "Probably Gross Even Before It Expired?"

Ok, I know that's not what it means. I did take four years of French in high school and lived outside Paris for six months. In this case, however, that's what it should have meant. This stuff sort of tasted like shaving cream, but with less flavor. Mon dieu!

Thursday, August 6, 2009

Disappointment On The Grill

Here's a triptych of melty marshallow goodness. No date, but they are believed to be several years old. And already opened. Notice how shiny the blob of marshmallows is. I had to wrestle the plastic wrap off that giant mass and rip them into individual marshmallows. But, they look good over the coals, right? They'll taste ok, right?

Wrong. They had to be sacrificed. Who knew marshmallows went bad? Thanks to Rob and Kari for their bravery at this vintage BBQ. Too bad it was so disappointing :(

Wednesday, August 5, 2009

You got chocolate on my peanut butter!

You got peanut butter on my chocolate! Hey--this tastes great! Ok, so it's really Nutella and a bag of almonds, but hey, you work with what you've got.

After the Great Snack Drawer Disappointment of the other day, I brought Nutella to keep in my snack drawer at work. This way, I don't have to rely on other people keeping their food up-to-date. Or at least still edible. It's sharing space in the drawer with a giant bag of almonds from BJs I found while rearranging the cupboards at home. It's from at least two, maybe three, Christmases ago when I was making candied nuts for people. The bag says "Best By 3/24/2008." They're not bad, and they even almost still taste like almonds. A little dip in the Nutella, though, and you've got a fanstatic snack.

Tuesday, August 4, 2009

Expired chocolate? Who cares!

Sell by August 2004. Sell by, not eat by.


Monday, August 3, 2009

Vintage meats, coming to a snack drawer near you

Recently, I was in serious need of a snack at work. So, I raided the snack drawer of a co-worker. It's ok, I had permission to be in there (permission by relation, anyway). No, I'm not the crazy person that eats everyone's food after they've gone home for the day. Anyway, back to the point of the post...

So, I opened up the drawer, and to my delight, came across this vintage bonanza. Every single item, except for a few single-serving microwave popcorn bags, was fair game for this blog. Here's the breakdown of what I discovered:

1) Pacific chai instant hot beverage: no date, but I know that it is from at least one, probably two Christmases ago. Still tasty, thank you very much.

2) Butter toffee: expired 5/27/09. Empty, except for buttery toffee crumbs at the bottom. Crumbs were stuck to the bottom, so no taste test.

3) Swiss trail mix: expired 10/25/2007. All that was left were a whole bunch of crusty raisins. Everything else got picked out, since the drawer's owner doesn't believe in raisins in trail mix. Buy another kind, I say, or at least throw them out before they end up on a blog. Not so tasty since the raisin flavor had pretty much packed up and left. Plus, the sugars in the raisins had gotten all crunchy. Barely passable in a serious pinch.

4) Cajun party mix: expired 11/9/2007. Words cannot describe how disgusting this one was, so let's move on, shall we?

5) Quaker oatmeal: expired 2/7/2008. These were actually completely fine. Must be all the powdery sugary flavors that make them last. Maybe I could pep them up a bit with some crusty raisins. The heat might make the raisins more tolerable.

6) Goldfish: no date. However, these goldfish have made it through two apartment moves and one house move (so that's where that Tupperware went), so think on that one. Besides the fact that they were no longer bright orange, but had faded to a soft beige, they tasted like furniture polish. There was no swallowing them, believe me. Blech.

I need to make better connections at work if I am going to sustain myself on other people's snack drawers.

Tuesday, July 28, 2009

I SWEAR This Is Dill....

....not pot for those brownies I just made.

I had to toss it since it is about 5 years old, from back in the day when dill actually would grow in the garden and not just shoot straight up, get attacked by slugs and then turn yellow all in a week.

Monday, July 27, 2009

Major Grey, You're Still Delicious

The other day I was making a recipe that called for mango chutney. Of course, I didn't remember to check if I had any before I headed to the grocery store, so I bought a jar just in case.

There's no mystery as to how I end up with so many vintage condiments in my fridge.

Back at home, I dug out a jar that had expired in 2007. So I tasted it. Kind of funny. Then I opened the new jar and tasted it. Also kind of funny. The only difference between the two was that the price had gone up forty cents since the old jar. So, I used up the old and part of the new to make mango dipping sauce for some really yummy mushroom eggrolls.

Now I have the exact same amount of leftover mango chutney in my fridge. Maybe I'll remember that next time. Or not.

Wednesday, July 22, 2009

Refrigerator Baking Soda: Not A Good Flavor For Cookies

The other day, I had a tremendous craving for chocolate chocolate chip cookies. Lucky for me, I had some dough in the refrigerator. It had been there for a while (I'm guessing several months, but can't quite remember when I made it), but whatever, it smelled ok. Well, all right, it DIDN'T smell ok, but I was in denial.

So, I baked up a piping hot sheet of chocolately goodness. The chocolately goodness (after I painfully swallowed a sample) was promptly dumped in the trash. So sad :( I can't really descibe how they tasted, but it's probably close to a box of baking soda that was placed in the fridge to take all the funny smells out of it. After about a year. It was not good.

Tuesday, July 21, 2009

Where's The Limo When You Need It?

Cause I've got some Grey Poupon about to celebrate its one year anniversary of expiration!!

Well, we finished it with no limo but it would have been nice to relive the 80s for a minute.

Monday, July 20, 2009

Spicey, huh?

So apparently the person responsible for the ingredients in this Spicey Mint Cocoa is also the same crack-head responsible for teaching me to photograph pictures all wonky.

This is mint cocoa, mmmmm, that someone decided to also put chai spices in. I think it's weird and you can see from the rust on the can that I'm not the only one.

It'll have to be served to unsuspecting visitors in the fall. Or perhaps at a certain someone's annual pumpkin carving party.


Bwaaaahhhhh ha ha!!!!

Friday, July 17, 2009


For those of you wondering that stands for Unidentified Powder-Filled Jar.

Straight to the trash since no one knows what to do with it. Apparently it was either some sort of pancake mixture or cookie mix.
Someone needs to remember the power of labels.

Thursday, July 16, 2009

Spaghetti Squash, It's the Fun Squash!!

I wanted to eat this squash which came from the garden last fall. I asked for it, I begged for it, and was denied each time.

I didn't even eat it this time, 9 months later, since it was all dried up. I cooked it for someone else ;)

Wednesday, July 15, 2009

Macadamia Crayons

I saw them and got excited so I ate them. I was so excited I had found macadamia nuts that I didn't notice for a while that they tasted just like crayons.

Then I did it again. I didn't have my camera handy so I put them back in the cupboard and found another package which I opened. Those must have been finished but I forgot and got excited once more when I found the package again.

Luckily I remembered to sniff them before trying. I swear they smell like crayons. Ick.

Tuesday, July 14, 2009

Even the Cats Won't Touch This

They're from 2007 and 0% of the cats I've tried to feed them to have agreed to eat them.

Friday, July 10, 2009

Dried Up Fruits

This was found in the cabinet opened and recently expired. Now it is gone.

I didn't eat any but it seems it was good. I think I've eaten raisins years past when I should have. They don't really do much but get a little bit drier. But then again, they are dried fruits.

Thursday, July 9, 2009

Ooooh, Powdered Coffee

I got crazy cleaning out a cabinet and found this old (probably from about 2000) packet of powdered coffee. You mix it with milk and it makes iced coffee and good to have around but not especially tasty.

Expecting the worst I doctored it up quite a bit. It wasn't bad though.

Wednesday, July 8, 2009

Garden Update

It took a few days but the sprouting shallots that were planted are sprouting up quite nicely, perhaps they will produce some not-so vintage baby shallots!! :)

Tuesday, July 7, 2009

Desperate for Coffee

Looking for non-flavored coffee the other day I did some excavating in the freezer and came up with this. I'm not a big fan of flavored coffees but desperate time call for desperate measures. Guess I'll have to find out what Snick-A-Doodle flavor tastes like.

It was only $2.99 so I'm not expecting quality here.

I did choose this flavor due to the expiration date. It claims it's best when used before 11/08, but it was buried in the freezer with all the other treasures so, here goes!

It tasted fine I guess, it's just coffee and probably would be good for a few more years in the freezer.

Monday, July 6, 2009

Happy 4th!

These old cameras will be used to celebrate the 4th, I've sent them up to Maine to find some panoramic views so they can finally be developed. They both say best if used by 1996 so it will be interesting to see what is on them after 13+ years of being in the freezer.

Friday, June 26, 2009

Crack for Good

So I might have been watching Fat Actress on Netflix. And Kirstie Allie might have been cleaning out her fridge in her demolished kitchen when she pulled out a cake from 1998. I think it was filmed in 2005.

"1998, that's not possible....I can't believe this is good after 6 years." She then gave a bite to someone else to try telling them she had just purchased it last week and they said it tasted fine.

It's like a little piece of Vintage Meats on my laptop, only she got paid for her work! :)

Thursday, June 25, 2009

I Was Given An Old Drink

It was mango something or other and expired in March, I think on the 31st. The evidence was confiscated before I could photograph it but vintage foods are coming at me left and right. This person didn't even know I do this.

The sad thing is, it was mango flavored and delicious. I hate mango flavored things, maybe they just have to be old...

Heh heh.

Wednesday, June 24, 2009

It's Refrigerator Cleaning Time

I found this which made me throw up in my mouth a little bit. Actually a whole lot. I think it was sour cream but I don't know why it's in tupperware.

I found this with no top so although it might have made it, it didn't have a chance. I would have eaten it too, it's not even vintage.

And a sad, dried up and moldy grapefruit. I'm sorry grapefruit.

Tuesday, June 23, 2009

Vintage Seeds - An Update & A New Challenge

I can't see that any of the vintage seeds from my earlier post have grown over a month after they were planted. So much for vintage seed experiment number 2. There are just my sad looking strawberry plants, a thank-you mustard plant and lots of weeds.

I am very optimistic however, that these organic shallots, which took it upon themselves to sprout so nicely in the kitchen, will grow quite well in the garden and I am going to plant them and harvest them.

Perhaps they will sprout again once they are harvested? Only time will tell. The funny thing is I thought shallots were like scallions, not onions. Oooops!

Monday, June 22, 2009

Sugar-free Bacon??

I'm hoping someone will step up to the plate and help me out with this one. I can't eat bacon and don't believe in Splenda.

I'm also hoping that no one will notice this has expired. I put it in the fridge......

Friday, June 19, 2009

In Search of the Elusive Tahini

Recently, there was no hummus. A certain person is addicted to it. This person said to me, "I'm out of hummus, I'd make my own but I can't find any tahini in the store."

But I found some in the fridge.

And in the pantry. It was kind of like 'Where's Waldo' but a whole lot easier.
So, who's going to tell her......