Roly Poly Fish Heads

No, I didn't find a fish head stuck behind the freezer-burned raspberries. But, I did find some two-year-old wine in the fridge that I used (in conjunction with a very fresh fish head) to make fish stock. Mmm... miso soup.... I did take a picture of the fish head, too, but I'll spare you.

Yeah, yeah, I know that SOME wine gets better with age. But not two buck Chuck. Believe me. Especially since it's been in the fridge, opened, for a good portion of those two years. Simmer for an hour on the stove, though, with a good mirepoix and it's not so bad.

Lime Grenadine

This old and slightly nasty grenadine was liberated from the cabinet and the jar was washed out before I could get to it.


But I found the bottle.

Fun With Fluff

Some of you might remember this fluff.


And these chocolate chips which have made numerous appearances in addition to pairing with the fluff here, here and here.


Well, in honor of the chocolate, fluff and nutella crepes at Mr. Crepe, we elected to make vintage chocolate chip and fluff pancakes. Oh, if only I had known about the nutella.


One was sacrificed to the floor.


The rest were fantastic.


Plus the fluff and chocolate chips are now done!!! Best breakfast ever!!!

Mmmmmm Tea Again

I really can't believe I never put this picture up. Especially since it took me a month or more to get through this whole box o' tea.


Well all except the orange spice which I hid away in the tea box of doom where it shall reappear one day to terrorize unsuspecting people. Mwah-hahahaha!!!

The Bermuda Triangle of Foods

Sometimes I unearth an old food item and it just quietly disappears. No one mentions it again.


Well, this was one of these items (bad picture I know). I wouldn't drink it since it's a dairy smoothie which I don't like. It seems like others felt the same way since now it's gone.

The Appropriately Named After Eights

They expired in January 2009. After eight months they were actually eaten.


I actually can't believe this is the first time I've written about these bad boys since this was the third box I unearthed. Some were older.

Did You Ever Wonder....

....If gum could go stale?


Well, I'm here to tell you that it does. I chewed all four pieces at once so I wouldn't have to do it again.

You're welcome.

Toxic Tobasco

You may remember the post about the ancient hot sauce. Well there are some more bottles.


They have been officially labeled toxic. Gross.

Vintage Treasure Chest - Episode One

The first episode of name that vintage food is from the depths of the treasure chest. I start with this item since it has already been disposed of. It was done behind my back, but I have photographic evidence nonetheless.



When I opened this and sniffed it, yes I know this is dangerous, I thought it was powdered instant tea mix. I looked closer though and saw it had leaves in it.

Okay, obviously not powdered tea.

Another guess was that it was taco seasoning. But that is definitely orange and this was mostly brown and had a tea smell.

No one is certain what this is still, but the best guess to date is lemon pepper. I'm not sure that guess is right, but it's about as close as we may ever get to knowing for sure.

Chunky Milk - The Sequel

A few days ago I opened this up and used it a tiny bit since once again, there was no milk. This seems to be a recurring problem in this house. (See also: the Week of Vintage Milks beginning in June).

Well I casually mentioned later on that day that there were 2 half and half containers in the refrigerator and it was met with the comment I really didn't want to hear. Apparently, earlier that morning, someone had opened it up and poured some out and it came out chunky.

CHUNKY!!!

So they put it back in the fridge since the sell by date hadn't passed. Well it had. Usually milk has a sell by date but as you can see from the photo, this one has a use by date. Granted it was only a day past and usually milk is still okay for a day or sometimes a few days afterward but IF IT'S CHUNKY TOSS IT!!!!!


Good thing I didn't get sick from that. I just threw up in my mouth a little bit when I realized what had happened.

My Goodness, My Guiness

Quote from the victim of this bottle of Guiness. "That beer was at least a year old".


Poor fool should have chilled it longer.

For All You Doubters

This is the 100th post. Yup, that's right, the vintage fun here never ends.


To celebrate this momentous event I share with you this image of a veritable vintage treasure box. Stay tuned for an action packed, item-by-item mini-series event.

Liquid Smoke - Twice the Flavor, Twice the Vintage

Okay I heard there was some grumbling about the scarcity of posts lately so I'm back at it. Shortly I'll have enough posts scheduled to last quite a while, at least a month of vintage fun for your reading pleasure.

Next up: Liquid Smoke.

This liquid smoke concentrate was found - I don't know how - probably in a cupboard somewhere. It really just appeared on the counter.


As you may be able to see from the front, it's concentrated. Actually, it's "more than twice as concentrated as the other leading brands". This means it will last twice as long and be twice as vintage by the time someone decides they need some liquid smoke flavoring.

As you may also be able to see from the back, it's alleged expiration date is, or should I say was, 01/07/1999.

What you probably can't see are the little floaty bits stuck inside on the glass.

Is "Sans Sucre" French For "Probably Gross Even Before It Expired?"

Ok, I know that's not what it means. I did take four years of French in high school and lived outside Paris for six months. In this case, however, that's what it should have meant. This stuff sort of tasted like shaving cream, but with less flavor. Mon dieu!

Disappointment On The Grill

Here's a triptych of melty marshallow goodness. No date, but they are believed to be several years old. And already opened. Notice how shiny the blob of marshmallows is. I had to wrestle the plastic wrap off that giant mass and rip them into individual marshmallows. But, they look good over the coals, right? They'll taste ok, right?

Wrong. They had to be sacrificed. Who knew marshmallows went bad? Thanks to Rob and Kari for their bravery at this vintage BBQ. Too bad it was so disappointing :(

You got chocolate on my peanut butter!

You got peanut butter on my chocolate! Hey--this tastes great! Ok, so it's really Nutella and a bag of almonds, but hey, you work with what you've got.

After the Great Snack Drawer Disappointment of the other day, I brought Nutella to keep in my snack drawer at work. This way, I don't have to rely on other people keeping their food up-to-date. Or at least still edible. It's sharing space in the drawer with a giant bag of almonds from BJs I found while rearranging the cupboards at home. It's from at least two, maybe three, Christmases ago when I was making candied nuts for people. The bag says "Best By 3/24/2008." They're not bad, and they even almost still taste like almonds. A little dip in the Nutella, though, and you've got a fanstatic snack.

Expired chocolate? Who cares!

Sell by August 2004. Sell by, not eat by.

Delicious!

Vintage meats, coming to a snack drawer near you

Recently, I was in serious need of a snack at work. So, I raided the snack drawer of a co-worker. It's ok, I had permission to be in there (permission by relation, anyway). No, I'm not the crazy person that eats everyone's food after they've gone home for the day. Anyway, back to the point of the post...

So, I opened up the drawer, and to my delight, came across this vintage bonanza. Every single item, except for a few single-serving microwave popcorn bags, was fair game for this blog. Here's the breakdown of what I discovered:

1) Pacific chai instant hot beverage: no date, but I know that it is from at least one, probably two Christmases ago. Still tasty, thank you very much.

2) Butter toffee: expired 5/27/09. Empty, except for buttery toffee crumbs at the bottom. Crumbs were stuck to the bottom, so no taste test.

3) Swiss trail mix: expired 10/25/2007. All that was left were a whole bunch of crusty raisins. Everything else got picked out, since the drawer's owner doesn't believe in raisins in trail mix. Buy another kind, I say, or at least throw them out before they end up on a blog. Not so tasty since the raisin flavor had pretty much packed up and left. Plus, the sugars in the raisins had gotten all crunchy. Barely passable in a serious pinch.

4) Cajun party mix: expired 11/9/2007. Words cannot describe how disgusting this one was, so let's move on, shall we?

5) Quaker oatmeal: expired 2/7/2008. These were actually completely fine. Must be all the powdery sugary flavors that make them last. Maybe I could pep them up a bit with some crusty raisins. The heat might make the raisins more tolerable.

6) Goldfish: no date. However, these goldfish have made it through two apartment moves and one house move (so that's where that Tupperware went), so think on that one. Besides the fact that they were no longer bright orange, but had faded to a soft beige, they tasted like furniture polish. There was no swallowing them, believe me. Blech.

I need to make better connections at work if I am going to sustain myself on other people's snack drawers.