Friday, April 10, 2009

A Tale of Two Cheeses

These cheeses were lovingly named in the 80s or 90s. They have been peering at me from above the pantry shelves for years. I honestly thought they were some jams in a box since I could only see the side, boy how wrong I was.....






I have never before met cheeses named as these two were, but I have to say it certainly made it harder for me to part with them. 'Swissy' and 'Sharpy' are not real cheeses, don't be fooled. If you are able to zoom in on Swissy you will see he is actually a 'Pasturized Process Cheese Spread Swiss-Type Flavor'. Um gross!!! This is worse than plastic cheese!!!

After making proper introductions, I felt comfortable becoming more intimately aquainted with Swissy so I opened him up....


....and sniffed him. I did say we were properly introduced, right? It seems that while this isn't actually a real cheese, it smelled like that powdery 'cheese' you find inside those square cracker sandwiches. Gross but not disgusting. Given the age and the fact that there might be a hint of dairy somewhere in the food I chose to pass on eating any.

I did however, take a look at Sharpy, an unidentified type of 'Pasturized Process Cheese Spread'. I would venture to guess he was supposed to be a sharp cheddar. He didn't seem to survive the storage as well. The metal ties on each end were corroded and powdery and inside you can see the pool of darker fluid around my finger mark. That was as far as I dared to go with him. I could only imagine the smell that could come out of him since he was gooey.


I'll have to pass on these.

Goodbye Swissy and Sharpy! It was nice to know you.

8 comments:

Janice said...

I really wish you had taste-tested these!!

Tim said...

Where is your sense of adventure? Yummy extra aged cheese product sounds delicious, especially on the Saltines I know your mom has hidden in the pantry.

j9 said...

It still hasn't gone out in the trash.....

Tim said...

No it hasn't. It has arrived on my doorstep. How did it get by the drug sniffing dogs at the Post Office? I know what I am having for dinner!!!

j9 said...

Sweet! Let me know how you like them! :)

Janice said...

I told you I wasn't responsible for anything shipped to your door, Timmy. I swear it wasn't even my idea!

Tim said...

After long and arduous pondering about the consumption of these two fine possible cheese products I have decided that may be consuming cheese that has been in shrink wrap and unrefrigerated for how many years? is not, um, prudent. Especially since the box smells putrid, but the packing peanuts are yummy. So the demise of sharpy and swissy is close at hand. maybe the squirrels will like them and then die a slow painful death from listeria. But on second thought a little bite won't kill me, will it?

j9 said...

No, not the cheeses! Nooooooooooooooooooooo!! I would drive all the way out there to watch you eat it. A YouTube video would be even better!