I have never before met cheeses named as these two were, but I have to say it certainly made it harder for me to part with them. 'Swissy' and 'Sharpy' are not real cheeses, don't be fooled. If you are able to zoom in on Swissy you will see he is actually a 'Pasturized Process Cheese Spread Swiss-Type Flavor'. Um gross!!! This is worse than plastic cheese!!!
After making proper introductions, I felt comfortable becoming more intimately aquainted with Swissy so I opened him up....
....and sniffed him. I did say we were properly introduced, right? It seems that while this isn't actually a real cheese, it smelled like that powdery 'cheese' you find inside those square cracker sandwiches. Gross but not disgusting. Given the age and the fact that there might be a hint of dairy somewhere in the food I chose to pass on eating any.
I did however, take a look at Sharpy, an unidentified type of 'Pasturized Process Cheese Spread'. I would venture to guess he was supposed to be a sharp cheddar. He didn't seem to survive the storage as well. The metal ties on each end were corroded and powdery and inside you can see the pool of darker fluid around my finger mark. That was as far as I dared to go with him. I could only imagine the smell that could come out of him since he was gooey.
I'll have to pass on these.
Goodbye Swissy and Sharpy! It was nice to know you.